Screenshot Friday

I wonder if I could really reach for the stars

Pity party table of 1

Last night we were supposed to start at Sindragosa.  Unfortunately one of our healers got stuck at work.  Since we would have to pull in another healer and Soth wanted a new weapon off a boss we had already killed, it was decided to just restart the raid.

Things got off to a rocky start.  I am not sure what is wrong with me but I was having the same problems last night that I was having on Tuesday.  I made sure I ate before the run so that wasn’t it.  I am starting to think it is something completely out of the game period.  Zam thought it might be raid jitters or something.  I don’t think it is.  I was making a marked improvement each week without any issue.  I can’t see suddenly acquiring that after not having it since I first started raiding with SR.

It is most likely all the outside stuff that is going on.  I tend to think and then over think stuff.  My brain never stops.  I have a hard time falling asleep at night because I cannot get my mind to turn off.  This ends up with me staying up far too late and getting like 4-5 hours of sleep a night.  Like right now, I just zoned out writing this while my mind went off on other topics.  It isn’t even like I am thinking about just one thing.  I have 5 or 6 different topics floating around in my head.  *sigh*

Re-setting the raid turned out to be for the best really.  Soth got his new weapon so big congrats go out to him! 🙂  I also got a new wand and hit exalted with the Ashen Verdict.  I think I am now at 5792 gs.  As Tir said the other day “pimp my lock” indeed.

I am going to take Soth’s advice and get rid of the hit on the gems.  If I get to soft cap (11% for me) I should be ok.  That means I only need to have 289 hit.  With the gems I am sitting at 332.  When I remove them I will be at 312 which is still higher than the 289 I can drop down to.  When I have hit issues it makes me miss being Alliance and having a Draenei in every fucking group ever.  I think EoF had at least 2 in every raid we were in, usually 3 or 4.  It really was overkill.

I am not raiding again until Sunday.  Hopefully I will be able to work out some of the stuff that is plaguing me, both in my head and in the game.  I can stand at the training dummy and knock off my rotation like no one’s business, but put me in a raid, and it all goes to hell.  Ari is such a nice RL.  She tries to help me with my class failings.  I was told on Marrowgar to not switch to the spikes unless Ari was impaled.  On Lady D I get to stay on the mana shield.  Festergut I get to be the anchor or if we have extra ranged I get to be in the boss crotch.  Even with those lovely concessions made to me, I still fail.  5-6k dps is not good when everyone else is doing 7-10k.  I don’t think I can even go with the whole “you aren’t as geared as they are” thing because I am not really that far behind everyone anymore.  I end up feeling like I am given these buffs and they are being wasted, which means I probably shouldn’t be getting them anymore.

What drives me nuts is when I get told “you did fine” etc.  No, no I didn’t.  Each chain has its weakest link and being that link repeatedly is not something I am enjoying.  Yes I stay out of the bad, yes I follow instructions, but damn it I need to pick up my damage.  Other than cookies and soul stones (and sometimes curse of elements, you know when I FUCKING REMEMBER TO USE IT) I don’t have a lot to bring to the raid except DPS and I am not even bringing that.  On the dummy I can pull 5300 dps.  According to self buffed (which is all I am on the dummy) I should be pulling 5300 dps.  Put me in a raid (fully buffed) and I get 5300 dps.  Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

Ok so dps is low, but overall damage is where the importance is placed.  It is one thing when your damage is higher and your dps is a bit low in comparison to everyone else.  Last night, not only was I bad dps, my overall damage was significantly lower than the next person.  They were at 17-18% overall, I was at 13-14%.  1-2% I am ok with. 3-4% not so much.

So how did I end out my craptastic raiding night?  By dying repeatedly in AB.  Normally when I get AB I defend a node.  Lately it has been the farm.  I run up, assault it and guard it.  Usually there are 2-3 other people who stay with me.  I got AB twice last night.  The first time I was going solo.  I was left alone at the farm for almost the whole time.  About halfway through a DK joined me.  As soon as fighting started at the BS he left to fight, leaving me alone at the farm.  The Alliance kept sending 5-6 people to the farm, while I was standing there alone.  My poor VW bubble only absorbs around 10k damage.  Being MC btw, sucks ass.  There was this shadow priest that just had a hard on for me or something.  She made it a point to MC me every time she would attack the farm.  At one point she attacked the farm solo just so she could MC me before the DK killed her.

We of course lost that AB.

Back in Dal I was staring at the last book spawn point I need debating if I was going to crash out (it is 11:30 mind you) or what when someone asked me if I wanted to group up with several guildies and do a BG.  Since I still didn’t have my win I said sure why not.  We get AB again.  I got left alone at the farm, again.  I got gang raped at the farm, again.  Luckily Zug was in vent and in our BG group and came to help me.  Zam was also on his DK and showed up to help.  For a while it was just Zug and I at the farm, dying repeatedly.  I did manage to kill a fucking rogue and a fucking DK.  I fucking hate you guys in PvP btw.  I’m sure I sounded like a pissed off bitch when I was yelling about the fuckers dying over vent.  I don’t care.  They deserved to die for camping me in a BG.  Grrrr.

I probably shouldn’t PvP outside of WG anymore.  It probably isn’t good for my stress levels.

We still didn’t win the BG.

So yeah.  Failing at PvE and PvP in the same night.  If you will excuse me I think my table is ready.